Church: Reformed Baptist Church of Franconia | Text: Ephesians 6:1-4 | Date: December 13, 2015 | Speaker: Fred Zaspel

Introduction

Focusing as we did on children, “obey your parents,” that was marvelously encouraging and, I trust, helpful. Ephesians chapter six, today, is dealing with Christian parenting. Recall that in chapter five, verse 22, he began dealing with the role of wives—Christian wives. And then verse 25, Christian husbands. Chapter six, verse one, children, and now verse four, fathers—and I think parents more broadly are in view as well.

Ephesians chapter six, beginning with verse one: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother. This is the first commandment with a promise, that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger. Bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Once again, verse four: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

Let’s bow for prayer. Father, there is nothing more tender to our hearts, outside of our love for Christ, our love for our great God himself—nothing more tender to our hearts than our homes and our children. We ask that this portion of your word will have its way in shaping parents of RBC here today. Give us a clear glimpse of our role as parents. Give us determination to follow and give us success in it, we pray. For the glory of Christ, in his name we pray, amen.

By way of reminder, in Paul’s letter to the church at Ephesus, he began in the first three chapters expounding to us the nature of the gospel—God’s great saving plan and how God came to each of us individually, bringing us to faith in Christ, saving us, and building this great church. Chapter four and verse one then turns the corner, and Paul begins to apply what the implications of the gospel are. And so the theme—the broad theme of chapters four through six—is that of gospel transformation. How do we live as Christians? Those of us who have experienced this saving work in our lives, how should it show itself in the way that we behave?

In chapter four, Paul has some broader kinds of applications to make. Chapter five as well, but when we come to chapter five, verse 22, we come to this section where he begins to deal with relationships in the home: wives and husbands, children and parents, and then as we’ll see in verses five and following another time, slaves and masters as well. So here we are in chapter six, verses one through four, and last time we saw children and their responsibility. Children, your responsibility is to obey and honor your parents. So Christian children are children who, out of devotion to Christ, obey and honor their dad and mom. Christian children are children who, out of devotion to Christ, honor and obey dad and mom. And we tried to give a list of items and how to understand that in practical application in the home.

And now we come to verse four of chapter six: parents. We can summarize this, as I mentioned last time: Christian parents are parents whose goal in parenting is to train their children to live for Christ. Christian parents are parents whose goal in parenting is to train their children to live for Christ. You’ll notice in verse four, Paul addresses fathers. I think the idea there is that because fathers have the leadership role in the home, because of their headship, they are the ones addressed. I do not think that Paul intends to ignore mothers. I think the general application here is to parents, fathers and mothers, but addressing fathers because of their role in leadership in the home to make sure this happens. And you’ll see here in verse four that Paul states the command both negatively and positively.

Do Not Provoke Your Children To Anger

First, “Do not provoke your children to anger.” And then the positive: “Bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” Do not provoke them to anger, don’t make them angry, don’t exasperate them, but rather bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. So let’s take our time this morning and just try to unpack this and, again, give some itemizations of how this should apply in terms of parents with their children.

First of all, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger. Do not exasperate them. Don’t make them angry. I think this is first of all interesting in terms of its setting historically in the Roman world. I’m sure many of you have heard of the patria potestas, that is, the power of the father. It was an official thing that the father had supreme authority in the home, in ways that go way beyond anything that we have in our own societies—that the father’s rule was supreme. And I think the Apostle Paul is writing against that background to tell the fathers: be careful that your position of authority is not abused. Don’t abuse your authority. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger.

Now clearly, what he does not mean—and we know this because of verses one through three that have just exhorted us—he is not saying here, “Fathers, don’t ever make a requirement of your children that they don’t like.” That’ll make them mad. That’s clearly not what he is saying here. Children are to obey and honor their parents. And in fact, in the last part of verse four, he gives the parents instruction in terms of bringing up the children in the nurture and discipline and instruction of the Lord. And as we’ll see, that entails even rebuke and correction and so on. So he is not saying here, “Don’t tell them to do something they don’t want to do.” That’ll make them mad. That’s not what he’s after.

Clearly, what he’s after is that kind of behavior on the part of parents that would unjustifiably anger, frustrate, or confuse the child. So, some applications for that. Obviously, here he is prohibiting any kinds of cruelty, prohibiting here any kinds of abuse against children. “Provoke not your children to anger.” Clearly, I think it also prohibits any kind of punishment that is out of proportion to the offense—excessive punishment. I think even inconsistency in discipline is prohibited here as well. Favoritism in discipline, the kind of approach to discipline in the home that is frustrating to the child because it’s excessive, because it’s inconsistent, they’re not clear what the demands are, what the requirements are, they’re not sure how dad will respond in this or that situation—he’s unpredictable, he seems arbitrary—all of that Paul’s ruling out here; that can provoke children to anger.

Another way that I think that we could provoke children to wrath that we need to be reminded of is that of unreasonable demands in the home. Legalism, we call it sometime. Over-restrictive. Not allowing the child to be a child. That’s a fine line sometime, and it seems to be a problem more on the other side, that parents don’t expect their children to act their age. But there are those times when parents seem to expect their children to act more than their age. And Paul is ruling that out. Don’t be unreasonable in your demands.

Another thing that would provoke children to anger would be just the general unpleasant atmosphere that some parents seem to maintain in the home where mom or dad is moody or easily set off, short fuse, and you don’t know how careful you have to be or mom or dad is going to fly off at the handle and be screaming at you. All of that, Paul is ruling out here. Don’t provoke your children to anger. Don’t be quickly hollering at them. Don’t make the atmosphere in the home such that they have to feel that they walk on eggshells around you because you’re unpredictable.

Another thing that provokes children to wrath is an unwillingness to admit wrong. That’s a tough one for parents. But face it, we make mistakes and we have to be able to admit it. Another way of provoking children to anger that we need to be warned against is sometimes humiliating our children, whether verbally—putting them down—or putting them down in front of others, or comparing them negatively to other children, or perhaps chastening them in front of others in a way that would be humiliating for them.

Another way to provoke them to anger that we have to be careful of is through nagging, constantly finding fault. That’s a tough one too because your role is to steer them away from what is wrong and into what is right. But to be constantly fault-finding and nagging about it and not with the positive reinforcement is a frustrating thing for a child. And Paul rules it out. Unrealistic expectations of the child.

Another thing that I think is very harmful to children that Paul just rules out here, and that is a lack of parental harmony. And I mean this in general terms and in specific terms. A lack of parental harmony and discipline will frustrate a child and confuse him. A lack of parental harmony generally, where mom and dad can’t get along but they’re fighting and arguing, is going to frustrate the child and make him angry.

And in all of this, Paul is saying, “Don’t do any of that.” In bringing up your child in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, be careful not to provoke him to anger by any of these means. A lack of affection is another thing that can provoke a child to anger. Not keeping your promises. Being always so demanding and never having fun in the home can be provocative as well.

This really doesn’t fit here, but I’ll throw it in for those of you who want it: the four pieces of advice that I’ve often given to parents, the four ingredients of bringing up children that you’ve got to have, and we’ll cover a lot of that here today. But I’ve often listed it in four terms. You’ve got to have—and I’m not sure the order of these, but we’ll do it this way—four things. Number one, you must have, for lack of a better term, let’s call it religion, call it Bible, Christianity, however you want to say it; there must be the instruction in the ways of the Lord. We’ll be talking about some of that as we go on. There must also be love. You’ll accomplish very little if your children do not feel—not just be told, but feel—loved. There must be religion, love, and discipline. And apart from the instruction of the Lord and the love, your discipline is going to be very limited in its effects. And without the love, your discipline can go overboard. So there must be religion, love, discipline, and for the last category, fun. That’s what I always called it. Now, that was my department in our home. I made sure the kids… this was just a fun place to be. I think those four are very essential to bringing up children.

Paul, in a general way, is talking about that here. Don’t provoke your children to anger. Be consistent in your discipline of them. Be consistent in your determination to bring them up for the Lord and all of that. But out of love and concern for your child, don’t do it in such a way that provokes them to anger. Don’t irritate your children. Maintain control in your home, yes. Maintain the rule in your home, yes. But in such a way always that they will respect you for it and love you for it. It does not mean that you are always looking for your child’s approval in decisions that you make. You don’t do that. It does mean that you will not treat them in a way that is either emotionally or psychologically or physically damaging. Protect them from abuse of all kinds.

Turn over a few pages to Colossians chapter three, and we’ll see a parallel passage here. The Apostle Paul adds a statement there that I think is very helpful in terms of shaping your attitude in this. Colossians chapter three, beginning with verse 20: “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children lest they become discouraged.” You see the concern there? Watch out for your child’s well-being. And in the discipline and the instruction of the home and in your guidance and your maintaining authority in the home and all of that, do it in such a way that they are not provoked to anger or you bring them discouragement. So in other words, in all of your leadership in the home, see to it not only that your children are loved, see to it that they feel that they are loved, feel that they are accepted, and they feel that they are protected.

I’d like to take an aside here, and I think I’ll have to reserve it for another time, but I’ll just mention it in passing that permissiveness in the home is really another form of child abuse. The child has no boundaries and he has no restrictions. It frustrates the child, and you’ll see an undisciplined child is one who doesn’t know those restrictions, and so when something unpleasant happens, he doesn’t know how to deal with it. He can’t handle it and he flies off the charts in his response. He hasn’t learned self-discipline from the parents. Permissiveness becomes another kind of child abuse, and you need to recognize that. All of this, I think, falls under this broader prohibition: parents, don’t provoke your children to anger. Treat your children always in a way that furthers their well-being. You don’t abuse your authority, you don’t abuse your position of authority, and even in times of discipline, you deal with them always in love, so as not to discourage them.

Bring Them Up In The Discipline And Instruction Of The Lord

All right, so much then for the negative. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger. Now the positive. What should we be doing? And here he captures it in another broad statement: “Bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. “Bring them up”—this is a verb that has the connotations of that whole time that you have your children at home, rearing them. You don’t raise your children, by the way; you raise pigs, you rear children. That’s the distinction. Rearing your children, bringing them up—in what kind of way? How should you bring them up? How do you feed and nourish your children? Answer: in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Now these two terms that Paul uses here, discipline and instruction, or the older version, nurture and admonition: “Bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” These are terms that bring into them everything that has to do with the whole process of training children. And in fact, the first term that’s used here, translated in my version as “discipline,” is a word that has the connotations built into it of child training, child discipline. Training, discipline, teaching—it even takes into connotations, and it’s used elsewhere, of physical punishment as well, but the whole process of training and instilling discipline in children. The second word here, translated “instruction” or in other versions “admonition”—this is a word with kind of negative connotations. It’s the idea of warning, admonishing, even rebuking, but it carries the idea of instruction as well.

These are kind of comprehensive sorts of terms where Paul says, “All right, you bring up your children—how? You bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” And all that goes into your parenting—your teaching, your correcting, your guiding, your rebuking, discipline in all the decisions that you make, in modeling for your children what a Christian is—all of that is taken up into these terms here. The restrictions that you make on your children, the things you allow them to do, the things you do not allow them to do, all of that is part of it here.

So fathers or parents, bring up your children—in this whole process of rearing them, bring them up in the nurture and admonition or the discipline and instruction—what kind? Of the Lord. That is, the considerations that shape the decisions you make for your children, considerations that shape your guidance of your children, are not your own personal preferences, your own ideals for them. The considerations that shape the guidance of your children and bringing them up is the instruction of the Lord. Bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. That is, all of God’s instruction, all of the positive and negative commands of the Lord, all that he has told us regarding how we are to live, how we are to seek him.

The idea here is that of bringing the whole life under subjection to God. And the instruction—the role of the parents—is to bring the children through instruction and correction and rebuke and discipline, to bring the children under subjection to God so that they live for him. So he’s talking here, then, about the whole process of training children for life under God. You see to it that they understand what God requires of them.

Now we know that in the end, ultimately, we’re dependent upon God’s grace for success in this. That is not what Paul is dealing with here. He’s dealing with your responsibility and your role as a parent. And your responsibility as a parent is to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. That means you instruct them in the gospel. That means you evangelize your children. That means you show them what it is to live like a Christian. It means you give them guidance and instruction to live. You show them what they can do and what they cannot do and what pleases God and what does not please God. In very short terms, this is simply bringing the Bible to bear on the life of your child. That’s what Paul’s after.

That’s necessary, of course, because of what we saw last week in Proverbs chapter 22, verse 15: “Foolishness is bound in the heart of the child.” And you have to recognize that your role as a parent, in a sense, is to stand between your child and the foolish decisions that he or she would make. That’s your role—to protect them in that sense and bring God’s word to bear on their lives. Modern experts will tell you, of course, that you should not interfere with their personal decisions, as though every inclination that the child has on his own is going to be what’s best for him. And it’s just the most foolish approach to child-rearing I have ever heard in my life, and that’s what’s preached all the time now in our society’s experts. God’s counsel is: “You are my appointed means of bringing them into submission to me.” That’s the goal.

In other words, in parents, you should see the verse this way: Paul intends by this command to shape your understanding of your role as a parent. He intends to shape your understanding of your role as a parent. Your role as a parent is not simply to provide a boarding house for the child until he’s 18 and leaves. Your role is not simply to keep him clothed and fed. You are to view your role as: this is a training ground. God has entrusted me with this child to train him or her to live for Christ. This is how we are to view parenting, with an eye to outcomes, so that this kind of behavior that the child is showing now at age six—if I let that go, what will that look like when he’s 18? And we make decisions accordingly with an eye to outcomes, that what I want more than anything else, what God expects of me, is to train this child to live for him. And that consideration is to shape all the decisions we make in approaching parenting.

Now notice again, as I mentioned earlier, that this command, brief as it is, is a comprehensive kind of a statement. It’s a summary of your responsibility. “Bring up your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” That’s it. That’s it. That’s everything. This is the whole of parenting. Bringing your children up to live for Christ is not a side issue. One of the most clever tricks of the devil, it seems more and more in our generation, is to get you to say, “Okay, yeah, you can have that religion thing, but let’s marginalize it and make it one aspect of parenting, one aspect of your life, one aspect of the home life.” You do that and you’ve lost it. This is the comprehensive command: bring up your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Everything else, everything else is taken up under that. This is the all-encompassing consideration. Every activity we allow or disallow, it is with this motivation: bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Now notice what it does not say. It does not say, “Parents, make sure that your children have all the newest toys. Make sure that your children have all the best amusements. Make sure that your children have all of the newest fad clothing.” Let me clarify. There’s nothing wrong with any of the above. Give them toys and amusements and all the different clothes you want. I don’t care. That’s not the command. That’s not your focus in parenting. Your focus is: bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. And in my decisions on all these other scores, it’s going to be tempered by that: bring them up for Christ.

It does not say here, “Make sure they’re involved in every kind of organizational activity that is offered out there so that 40 hours a week they’re away from the home.” Something hellish about that, I think. The requirement is, bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. That’s your goal in parenting, and in fact, that’s your whole goal in parenting. Bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. It takes into it all kinds of pursuits, but all of them are organized under this: I’m training them for Christ. And again, the idea is that of stewardship. God has entrusted these children to me, and my responsibility is to bring them up in turn for him.

Now we have some time left, so let’s work this out in some particulars as well. There are certain entailments of this. Let’s just make some specific applications. How do we bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord? Well, of course, that entails verbal instruction—teaching them. There’s a saying that I heard in my home, that my children heard in our home, that is right as far as it goes, but I think we need to understand the larger picture. Sometimes children will come home and, “Can I go to…” or “Can I do this or that?” and dad says no. “Why?” “Because I said so.” Anybody hear that at home? I did. Jim did. There’s something about that that’s very right. And often at the point of that, especially if the child is challenging the parent, the answer is, “Because I said so.” But in the larger picture of bringing up children, that’s not enough. In the larger picture, I want to be explaining to the child, “This is why we do this, this is why we don’t allow that,” and explain to them what it is to live for God, what pleases God, what does not. And even in other innocent activities that you may disallow, explaining why we make these kinds of decisions, teaching your children what it is to live for God. Verbal instruction. It also includes caution, warning; it even includes rebuke.

It’s also going to entail some corporate family activities: biblical instruction together as a family, working on Bible memory together, perhaps memorizing Christian songs together, perhaps catechism, teaching them about Christ, teaching them the gospel, teaching them about heaven, and yes, teaching them about hell, teaching them what is pleasing to God. So you say, “This is why we go to church. This is why we go to that church. We are very concerned with what you hear in church,” teaching them about death as well as life, teaching them to reverence God’s word. And as I say, it also entails then verbal correction, even verbal rebuke. And of course, it even involves spanking, rightly administered—and we just don’t have time to chase that this time, perhaps another time.

It also involves modeling. Very important. Extremely important. Modeling and setting patterns for your children what it is to be a Christian. Now that begins with your relationship with your spouse. I’ve said this before and if you’ve heard it, please tolerate it so others who haven’t can hear. Mom, the very best way that you can be a good mother to your child is, first of all, be a good wife to their father. Fathers, the very best way to be a good father is, first of all, to be a good husband to their mother. Model what it is to be a Christian husband and wife. Model what it is to be a man or a woman who is truly concerned with practical piety. Show them your love for the scriptures. Show them your love for Christ. Show them your willingness to step out on that limb at work and speak for Christ even if it brings reproach. Show them your willingness to give and give extra of your money to the work of the Lord. Show them your generosity to others. Model Christian living.

By all means, bring them to church and let them see your interest in it. Moms, especially dads—who seem to need this instruction more often than moms—but both: show them your interest in singing praise to God with the rest of the church. It’s a powerful influence on the child to see that mom loves Christ and loves singing to him, that dad loves Christ and loves singing to him with the congregation. Model what it is to be a Christian in all of these kinds of ways.

This is going to entail choices that you make—what friends your children can have, what friends they cannot have, what activities they can participate in and what they can’t, influences that they have and what they cannot have. It’s going to entail choices regarding priorities for your family and for them specifically—why some things are allowed, why some are not. Always teaching and explaining why.

When I was a kid, you have to understand nobody in this world loved baseball more than my dad. He had an offer—he was offered a tryout for the Brooklyn Dodgers way back in the day. And he was professional quality. He loved baseball. And he taught us how to do it and how to handle a glove and how to handle the bat and all of that and loved baseball. We loved playing baseball. I was not allowed to join Little League when I was a kid because they required practice on Wednesday evenings—we have church on Wednesday evenings. That’s that. And the problem here is not dad. The problem is the Little League. Let’s understand it right. In fact, my brother… graduation was on a church night—graduation from high school. He went late because we had church. That’s okay. Oh, that just sounds so radical, I know.

Jimmy got involved in martial arts and did that for several years. We were very soon into it and found out that the tournaments, almost always where we were, the tournaments were on Sundays instead of Saturdays. “Oh, well, can’t get those trophies.” It’s OK. It’s OK. And let me say on that, please don’t think I’m nitpicking on that. These are important things that have massive implications with regards to what you are teaching your children. I have never seen a parent approach parenting successfully in the end by giving in on all those kinds of things. Model for your children what it is to be a devoted Christian.

And for both fathers and mothers, and particularly fathers, I would love to take the time—we can’t do it this morning—make a note, please: take the time, read through Proverbs chapters one through nine. Let’s take a second and glance at it. Proverbs chapter one… I’ll tell you what, flip ahead to Proverbs chapter 10. Proverbs 10 and verse 1. Notice how it starts: “The Proverbs of Solomon.” Do you see that? That is, this is where the Proverbs begin. It’s kind of a title, a heading to this section of the book. So here begin the proverbial sayings: “A wise son makes a glad father, a foolish son is sorrow to his mother.” You begin now these proverbial sayings.

Back in chapters 1 through 9, you don’t have proverbial sayings; you don’t have proverbs proper. What you have is a series of lectures from this sage to his son. And he gives one lecture after another, recorded here, instructing his son how to live. So after the introduction in chapter 1, verses 1 through 7, we have the first lecture to his son beginning in verse 8, and it goes through the rest of the chapter. And here he talks about these two invitations and these two refusals, always contrasting wisdom and folly, wisdom and foolishness. And he contrasts it for him.

Then the lecture number two is chapter two, where he talks about the rewards of wisdom, another familiar theme throughout these lectures—the value and the rewards of wisdom. Chapter three, we have the next lecture: the value and responsibilities of wisdom. And then we have some briefer lectures in chapter four: “Hear, O son, a father’s instruction, be attentive that you may gain insight.” And here we have wisdom described as a family tradition. “What I’m teaching you, I got from my father. I’m passing on the wisdom from God that God has given our family.”

Chapter 4, verse 10, we have the next lecture: “Hear, my son, and accept my words that the years of your life may be many.” Here we have wisdom contrasted and commanded as well. Verse 20 begins the next lecture: “My son, be attentive to my words, incline your ear to my saying.” And here he talks about wisdom as a way of life. Chapter 5, we have the next lecture: Wisdom in the marriage relationship. Now, your heading in the Bible may say something like “warning against adultery” in this chapter. Of course, that is a great part of what he’s focusing on here. But the point is more broad than that. Here’s some instruction regarding marriage itself and fidelity in marriage. And so he focuses on the physical relationships in marriage.

Chapter 6, Wisdom’s Warnings: “My son, if you have put up security for your neighbor…” and he gives warnings concerning… Chapter 6, verse 20, we have the next lecture, the ninth one: “My son, keep your father’s commandment and forsake not your mother’s teaching.” And then we have another in chapter 7, the 10th one, which takes us all of chapters 7 and 8. Then we have sort of an epilogue in chapter 9: the two rival feasts and so on.

And you’ll read through these and you’ll see the kind of instruction that the father is giving his son. He will even take him to the red-light district. “And you see that guy going in there? He’s a fool. And let me tell you why he’s a fool.” And he instructs him on all of these matters regarding how to live wisely and teaching the child why the way of wisdom is so important, because it’s in your own best interests. You will be happiest. You will honor God. And you will come out on the good end of this. Value wisdom. Wonderful instruction in those chapters, a wonderful model for parents with their children.

Bringing them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. By the way, if you’d like to look at chapter 10, Proverbs chapter 10 and verse 1 again: “A wise son makes a glad father, a foolish son makes his mother sorrowful.” In other words, it’s in your own best interest to bring up your children well. What God requires of the Christian parent is that we take every step necessary to interfere with—let me put it that way negatively—to interfere with the foolishness that is bound in the heart of every one of us from the beginning.

This is what should guide your thinking, shape your role. I want this child, when he leaves home, to still follow Christ. Don’t have some short-sighted worry over whether or not your child approves of this or that requirement, demand, or restriction, or whatever. Keep in mind the long-term and the goal. Bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. What else would you want?

I think one verse that was not spoken specifically in terms of parenting, but one verse that would be just marvelous for all of us as parents to keep in mind and make it sort of a guiding principle, is a verse—a familiar one—Matthew chapter 16, verse 26: “What shall it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his own soul?” A marvelous guide for us to keep in mind with regard to our children. What will it profit this child if he is to gain the whole world and lose his soul? Bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Train them for a few years so that when they leave at age 18, 22, or whatever it is, they have it in their heart that they have learned to follow Christ.

I understand sovereign grace, and I love sovereign grace as much as anyone and more than most. And I understand that ultimately success is dependent upon the mercy of God, sovereignly administered. But don’t ever let that distract from your responsibility. Don’t let that ever make you forget or ignore that God works through second causes. And our responsibility in this is to bring up our children for him.

The day my children were born, I remember the almost crushing realization that God has given me these children to stand, in a sense, between them and hell. And as inconsistent as I may have been, as faulty as it was, these were the guiding considerations in bringing up our children. I want more than anything else to see my children love Christ and follow him. And that has to be the guiding consideration in bringing up our children. Don’t forget that foolishness is bound in their hearts. Don’t forget that they will insist and deeply believe that things that are harmful for them are things that are good. And it is your role to teach and instruct otherwise.

Let me read one excerpt from J.C. Ryle’s booklet that I gave you this morning. It’s a series of exhortations. Number four, which well could have been number one: “Consider the soul of your child. Train with this thought continually before your eyes, that the soul of your child is the first thing to be considered. Precious, no doubt, are those little ones in your eyes, but if you love them, think often of their souls. No interest should weigh with you so much as their eternal interests. No part of them should be so dear to you as that part which will never die. The world with all its glory shall pass away. The hills shall melt. The heavens will be wrapped together as a scroll. The sun will cease to shine. But the spirit which dwells in those little creatures whom you love so well shall outlive them all. And whether in happiness or in misery, to speak as a man will depend on you. This is the thought that should be uppermost in your mind in all that you do for your children, in every step you take about them, in every plan and scheme and arrangement that concerns them. Do not leave out that mighty question: how will this affect their souls?”

Sobering as that is, what happier demand could God ever give? This is all we want. So then, in summary: Children, obey and honor your parents. Parents, don’t provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Evangelize them; tell them of Jesus. Tell them that they are sinners. Tell them that there’s a Savior who can save and lead them to Christ. Model for them what it is to be a Christian. Direct them lovingly, caringly, and gently in the way that they should go. If you don’t do it, no one else will. Keep it as your aim to train your children for God. And that’s something you will never regret. You will only regret a failure to do it.

Determine that if your children will grow up to reject Christ—many a wise father has had a foolish son—but determine that if your child will grow up to reject Christ, it will be with you and mom standing in the way. It will not be because of you. This is our high calling as parents, our most basic responsibility to live for Christ in the home is to direct our children to live for Him. May God give us grace and determination to do it. Amen.

Our Father, there are, as I have said, few things more tender to our hearts than our homes, our children. Lord, we ask for the families of RBC that you will be merciful to us. For our parents here, we pray that you will give them a right understanding of their role, help them to see themselves as stewards entrusted with this wonderful treasure to bring up their children for Christ. Give them determination, give them wisdom in it. We pray that you’ll give them success in it. And as we have prayed so many times, we pray for the children of this church. Give them a heart to obey mom and dad, and above all things, save them, we pray, while they are young. In Jesus’ name we ask, amen.