Church: Reformed Baptist Church of Franconia | Text: Genesis 1-3 | Date: June 26, 2011 | Speaker: Fred Zaspel

I’ve often said to people that—and I think I might have picked this up from J. Adams somewhere years ago in a book that I read by him—the best way for a father to be a good father to his children is, first of all, to be a good husband to their mother. And the same is true the other way. The best way for you mothers to be a good mother to your children is, first of all, to be a good wife to their father. There’s so much about that—I think it was from Jay Adams that I read that—there’s so much about that that’s right and helpful to us, both in terms of the children and parenting and all of that, but also in terms of keeping the focus right in the home. And that is, the primary relationship here is not parent and child. The primary relationship is husband and wife. And this is as God has ordered it, and that’s where the focus should be.

And so, as a complement, I hope, to the weekend, we’re going to look at this subject of marriage this morning. We’re going to look at it from the standpoint of its original perfection and its original beauty. So take your Bibles, please, and turn to Genesis 1. And I’m going to take the time to read a good number of verses in Genesis 1, 2, and 3. Genesis chapter one will begin with verse 26. I’m sure this is a familiar account to most all of you.

Genesis one, beginning with verse 26: “Then God said, let us make man in our image after our likeness. Let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth. So God created man in his own image. In the image of God, he created him. Male and female, he created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth. And God said, behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit, you shall have them for food. And to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the heavens, to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food. And it was so. And God saw everything that he had made. And behold, it was very good. And there was evening, there was morning, the sixth day.”

Chapter two, let’s skip down to verse seven: “Then the Lord formed the man of the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature. And the Lord God planted a garden in Eden in the east, and there he put the man whom he had formed. And out of the ground the Lord God made to spring up every tree that is pleasant to the sight and good for food, the tree of life that was in the midst of the garden and the tree of knowledge of good and evil.”

Down to verse 15: “The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and to keep it. And the Lord God commanded the man saying, you may surely eat of every tree in the garden. But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, you shall not eat. For in the day that you eat of it, you shall surely die. Then the Lord God said, it is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a helper fit for him. So out of the ground, the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all the livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam, there was not found a helper fit for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man. And while he slept, he took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man, he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, this at last is bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.”

“Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, did God actually say, you shall not eat of any tree in the garden? The woman said to the serpent, we may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, you shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die. But the serpent said to the woman, you will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it, your eyes will be open and you will be like God, knowing good and evil. So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food and that it was a delight to the eyes and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took its fruit and ate and she also gave some to her husband who was with her and he ate. And the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths. And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the cool of the day. And the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, where are you? And he said, I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked and I hid myself. God said, who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree which I commanded you not to eat? The man said, the woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree and I ate. Then the Lord God said to the woman, what is this that you have done? The woman said, the serpent deceived me and I ate. The Lord God said to the serpent, because you have done this, cursed are you above all livestock and above all beasts of the field. On your belly you will go and dust you shall eat all the days of your life. I will put enmity between you and the woman, between your offspring and her offspring. He shall bruise your head and you shall bruise his heel. To the woman he said, I will multiply your pain in childbearing. In pain you shall bring forth children, your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you. To Adam he said, because you have listened to the voice of your wife and have eaten of the tree of which I commanded you, you shall not eat of it. Cursed is the ground because of you. In pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life. Thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you and you’ll eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread till you return to the ground for out of it you were taken. For you are dust and to dust you shall return. The man called his wife’s name Eve because she was the mother of all living.”

Let’s look to the Lord in prayer. Our Father, we ask that you would open our eyes to understand your word and be instructed by it, and we ask that you would shape us by it this morning in particular in regard to our marriages. Make them such that they are honoring to you. We pray in Jesus’ name, amen.

The First Purpose of Marriage Is Companionship

Well, again, nothing, I suppose, is more foundational, more basic to our lives, whether our society or our personal lives, than the subject of marriage. It is the universal testimony of all people that their greatest joy in this life or their greatest pain in this life has been because of and through the marriage. Marriage was created—and we find that here—marriage was created for exactly this purpose: our happiness. You may find that as a surprising thing, but we find that here in this narrative, that God created marriage. It isn’t something that just evolved with society, but God created marriage. He brought the first woman to the first man, and as it were, performed the first wedding ceremony. And God arranged this relationship in order to provide happiness for his creatures. “It is not good that man should be alone,” and so he makes a woman for him.

Now there are other purposes of marriage than just companionship. One purpose of marriage is to provide an environment that’s conducive for bringing up children and the nurture and admonition of the Lord that we’ve seen this weekend. Another purpose of marriage is in order to provide a context for fulfilling certain God-given physical passions. This is God’s good gift.

But the first purpose of marriage that overarches all others is to provide for man’s happiness by means of companionship. “It’s not good for man to be alone. I’ll make a helper suitable to him.” The first purpose of marriage is to provide for man’s happiness by means of companionship. Now that’s an interesting thing, I think, because before the woman was created, the man had fellowship with God. But still, God had no sooner said, “It is good, it is very good,” than he said, “It is not good.” It is not good that man should be alone.

God had never been alone. Even before creation, when there was only God alone, God was not alone; but forever he had enjoyed the perfect fellowship of Father, Son, and Spirit in the eternal triune Godhead. And there’s never been a time when God has been lonely, but always and for all of the eternal ages, there was God and he was never lonely, but enjoyed the perfect companionship of Father, Son, and Spirit. And there was perfect correspondence between them and a perfect kind of fellowship in all of the deepest ways. God did not create because he was lonely. God was never lonely. And God wanted his creature who was made in his image to have this similar joy.

Now on this side of the fall, we men like to act as though we are independent. We don’t need a woman. And in fact, on this side of the fall, there are some times when there are good reasons not to marry. The Apostle Paul speaks of that in 1 Corinthians 7, when he speaks of “this present distress.” But the norm and the universal experience of men is that—admit it, guys—we need a woman.

And so the next thing we read in the account here in chapter two and verse 18 is that God takes some steps to accent Adam’s need, that is, to make him, Adam himself, recognize his need for companionship. And what’s interesting is that when God says, “It is not good that man should be alone, I’ll make a helper fit for him,” we do not read immediately in verse 19 that God made a woman. That’s later in the narrative. First of all, what we read in verse 18 is, “It’s not good that man should be alone. I’ll make a helper suitable for him.” And what we read instead is that God does not immediately address that need particularly, but works to make man feel that need himself.

And so he brings all of the animals past Adam in order for Adam to name the animals. I’m not sure how that worked—all these animals coming past Adam and he’s giving them names appropriate to what they are and how they behave. I’m not sure how all of that went about. But through all of that process, Adam learns one thing, and that is that a dog is not man’s best friend. Man is not an animal. Man is created in God’s image, and there are depths to his being that just cannot be satisfied with companionship with an animal. He needs someone else. He needs someone like him, someone corresponding to him, someone who is one of him with whom he can correspond and have fellowship and companionship on the deepest kinds of levels. He needs a soulmate.

And so all the animals are passed by Adam. He gives them names, and still he needs a companion, someone with whom he can identify, and he has no one. And so we pick up the narrative in verses 21 and following, and God causes a sleep to fall upon Adam, and he takes out a rib; he takes out the rib and makes a woman.

And then we read in these verses, God brings the newly created woman to the man, and the man says, verse 23, “Yee-haw!” or something like that. That’s a Zospel paraphrase. You can see that between the lines. The words that we have are, “This is now bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh. She shall be called Isha because she was taken out of Ish.” She was called woman because she was taken out of man. Here is one just like me. This is bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh. That is, here finally is one with whom I can identify. Here is one like me, one with whom I can relate and share on the deepest kinds of levels. Here’s a real companion for me, one with whom I can have perfect correspondence on the deepest levels.

I’m sure many of you have heard Matthew Henry’s comments on this passage. It goes like this. He comments: “The woman was made out of a rib of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved.” Now I suppose in some ways that symbolism is a little bit overplayed, but I think in other ways Matthew Henry has shown some great insight into this passage. The Apostle Paul himself picks up on this in 1 Corinthians 11 and in 1 Timothy 2 and tells us that there is some deep significance embedded in all of this and how God did what he did.

There is significance to the fact that Adam was created first. There is significance to the fact that the woman was made from the man and not the man from the woman. God intends for this to be telling us something, and this really is a very beautiful scene that we have here. On the first level, it’s a wonderful picture of God, isn’t it? Providing graciously for his new creatures, providing for their happiness, making the pair such that they perfectly correspond to one another, that they’re perfectly suited to one another, both in body and soul. And man, God’s creature here, delighting in what his creator had provided for him. Finally, at last, he has companionship, a helper suitable to him.

And so, in verse 24, Moses adds his interpretive comment. Genesis 2:24, Moses says, “Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” In mathematical terms, it’s like this: One plus one equals one. You ever notice how that works in a good marriage? One plus one somehow make one. It’s really a beautiful thing to see. You have a husband and wife coming together and the relationship, the companionship, is such that there’s such a closeness that they seem to walk in step at every point. Their hearts seem to beat together. They do everything together. They think together. It’s a sense in which they even begin to look alike. God forbid that Sarah should look like Ryan. I don’t mean that. That’d be an awful thing. But you know how it is when you see a good marriage and they’ve come together and they’ve lived together and they’ve truly grown close in such a way that you can’t see the one without thinking of the other? Real companionship has been established. One plus one has made one in a very real sense.

So did you know that the first purpose of marriage is companionship? It is not good that man should be alone. I’ll make a helper suitable for him, and this is God’s gracious gift to humanity. Now, you may not have thought of it consciously in those terms, or not that the first purpose of marriage is companionship, but I suspect that every one of us has thought that on one level or another. Every one of us marries for the purpose of companionship. Now, there may be other things in some people. People have married for money or position or whatever, for sex. But as a rule, what we marry for is companionship. That’s what we’re after. And everyone who’s ever been involved in a failed marriage has learned very keenly how important companionship is. As for her, the woman’s role simply is to help her man in his living under God. She’s a helpmate, a helper suitable for him. Companionship and assistance in his living under God—that’s the high calling and the privilege of marriage.

The Effects of Sin and the Curse

And so we come to Genesis chapter 3. And the events of Genesis 3 really are tragic. Instead of assisting her man to live faithfully under God, she leads him away from God. Instead of companionship and mutual support, there was isolation, independence, insubordination. Oh, we can say this much for Eve: at least she was deceived. We read that in the narrative; she says that to God. The Apostle Paul picks up on it in the New Testament. At least you can say that much for her—she was deceived. Satan messed with her mind, tricked her. Adam’s sin had more the character of rebellion.

And the words that we hear from Adam, the first words we hear from Adam after he is called into account by God, are just shocking, aren’t they? I’m sure you’ve noticed it before. “Adam, what’s going on?” What’s he say? “The woman, the woman.” And if you’re reading the narrative closely, and you’ve read all of this carefully, and you’re thinking through it, here’s man: he’s lonely, he’s created, he’s got no one like him, and God makes a woman for him, and after he’s accented the need, and he says, “Ah, at last, here’s bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh, here’s one of me, here’s somebody I can have, this companion that I’ve needed, praise God.” And he sins and is called into account, and the first thing he does is puts her in jeopardy in order to save his own skin.

And you think, whatever happened to this companionship? Whatever happened, Adam, to this bone-of-my-bone stuff, flesh-of-my-flesh stuff, this other one-of-me kind of thing? Whatever happened to this thinking that this one is another me, this is someone I can love and cherish, this is me? Well, something awful has happened. Sin has entered the picture. Something sinister has happened to the relationship and it’s ruined everything. And this one who before was his greatest joy under God in this life, his companion, now he’s willing to make his scapegoat in order to save himself. To save himself, he would endanger his wife.

Companionship is gone. Sin had ruined it, and rather than loving her as his other half, as his other self, he selfishly viewed her as someone else rather than himself, bone of his bone, flesh of his flesh. Did you know that companionship is always the first thing to go? Before ever there’s legal divorce, there’s mental divorce. Always a mental separation, a failure or perhaps a refusal to think of your spouse as your other self, your companion, bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh.

Before ever thinking of having a fight, she’s thinking, “Why do I have to be a slave here in this home?” Or he’s thinking, “I still have my life to live.” And so he can run off with the guys and follow his every whim because he has his life to live. Or he comes home from work and he’s grumpy and he ignores her and he’s cold and he’s unsociable. Well, after all, he needs his time. And day after day, there’s no deep communication, no companionship, no friendship, until finally somewhere around the age of 50 or so, the last child leaves the nest and one morning, mom and dad look across the breakfast table at someone they don’t even know.

It’s exactly the cause of so many middle-age divorces. Here all along they’ve lived for themselves, perhaps they’ve lived for their children, but they’ve forgotten that the first purpose of marriage is companionship. And here all along, if they had just thought to be friends, if they had just thought to cultivate this companionship that God had given for them and provided in such a wonderful way in this relationship we call marriage, if they had just thought to give attention to that, their later years would have been so much happier. Companionship—the first purpose of marriage and really the first thing to go.

And so with sin entering the picture, we find in Genesis 3, everything is ruined. Fellowship with one another is disrupted. Fellowship with God is disrupted. And now it’s the whole created order against them as well. They run and they try to hide from God. God graciously condescends and comes after them. “Adam, where are you?” Isn’t that a wonderful picture? Isn’t that just a wonderful picture? That’s the story of the whole Bible, isn’t it? God coming after the rebel sinner, pursuing him in grace.

And God makes a promise in Genesis 3 in verse 15. And he says to Satan, “This woman’s going to have a son, and he’s going to crush your head, and you’ll crawl on your belly and eat dirt the rest of your life. You’re a goner. A champion’s going to come.” And here is born a hope that this champion will come and defeat the tempter. And the implication is this mess that he has made will be fixed.

But of course, in all of that, there’s an element of curse as well on not just Satan, but on the man and the woman. And at the bottom of it all, this curse that God pronounces in Genesis 3:14 and following, or 16 and following with regard to the woman and the man, at the bottom of it all is that this purpose for which they were created would now involve pain and difficulty and sorrow. “Adam, you’ll make your living by being a gardener, and it’s going to be by the sweat of your brow that you eat. You’re going to have resistance from the created order. And you’ll eat. And that which was before your privilege to keep the garden, now will involve sweat, toil, and pain.”

To the woman: “For your part, you’ll have children, but only through pain.” And perhaps more important for our purposes here, verse 16: “To the woman he said, I will multiply your pain in childbearing. In pain you shall bring forth children.” And then notice this: “Your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you.” A lot of ink has been spilled over this verse. What does that expression mean exactly, “Your desire shall be for your husband”? It’s been understood in various kinds of ways.

I’m convinced that the easiest way to understand it is by a comparison to chapter 4 and verse 7, if you’ll notice there, where God says to Cain, “If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. And here’s the same expression: its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.” That is to say, it wants to master you, but you must master it. And if that’s the understanding—I’m sure it is—in verse 16, what we’re reading here in chapter 3 then is that you, woman, will desire to rule him, but he’s going to rule over you. The battle of the sexes has begun.

Now, the point here is not that only now has she become subordinate to her husband. God intended from the beginning for her to live under the direction and leadership of her husband. She was to be his helper. She was his equal in every way, but she was to be subordinate in terms of the structure of authority. And the Bible brings this out for us in several different ways. One, as I mentioned earlier, Adam the man was created first. And this was, we learn in the New Testament, a declaration of God’s intention of the priority of leadership of the man. We find it also not only that the man was created first, but the fact that the woman was taken from the man and not the man from the woman was God’s declaration of his leadership.

We have a third indication of that as well in this narrative of man’s authority even before the fall, and that is that in this narrative, he gives her her name. He names her. We have it both before and after the fall. In chapter 2 and verse 23, “She shall be called woman.” In chapter 3 and verse 20, “Adam called his wife’s name Eve.” This is part of just simply an expression of his leadership, his authority. We find this many times in the Old Testament. Not only here in chapter 1 where God names the darkness night and the light—he names the day and names the firmament and all the rest—but we have military powers conquering people; the next thing they do is they change the names of the cities, or they change the names of the people. You remember in Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were given those names by their captors.

Giving a name is an expression of authority. Parents give names to their children; it’s an expression of their authority. My children were born, I give them a name. That’s my prerogative; that’s my authority. And so also in Genesis chapter two, before sin and at their very first meeting, Adam’s headship is established and he calls her woman. After the fall, he names her Eve. They were not meant to have identical roles. He was to lead, she was to help.

But now, now with sin and a curse, all of that which before was the enjoyment of a perfect creation, now involves struggle and competition. She desires to rule over him; he will rule over her. She wants to change and master him, but he’s ever willing to make her grovel. The battle of the sexes has begun. She struck out on her own, she would not follow her husband’s lead, she listened to the tempter, she did not obey God’s law that her husband had given to her, and now she’s stuck with it. And she must live with it; she’s given over to her sin.

And so here we are now, post-curse, post-fall, and our marriages are marked by it. No longer is there the sinless man full of tender, caring concern for his wife. No longer is there the sinless woman full of love as she joyfully helps her man in his living under God. Instead, there’s competition, each jockeying for prominence, each determined to stand taller at the end of this argument, each very willing to say things in the heat of the moment. They’ll inflict hurt that’ll last for years—those little digs, those jabs, those belittling remarks. Do they mean it when they say it? Sometimes, not always, but they did mean it to hurt. And we jockey for our positions and we’re determined that we’re going to stand taller at the end of this argument, and both are willing to say things that’ll inflict all kinds of hurt. “I never did love her.” “I never was happy with you.” We color the past with a jaundice eye on the present.

He’s had a hard day at work, he arrives home, he’s cold, he’s unsociable, he’s grumpy, he’s rudely silent, and she thinks, “I can play this game better than he can.” And on they go, determined that the other will break first. And on it goes, and the beauty of this original perfection is so marred that we can wonder sometimes if there’s even a trace of it left. Companionship? Yeah, I need it, but I also have this ego thing, you know? And then later in life, when we’ve lost our companionship or perhaps lost our companion, we find what a high price tag pride has with it. Our marriages—we must see this—our marriages are marked by sin and a curse. And it’s evident every day that we live.

The Continuing Standard for God’s People

And what’s amazing then is it is to a world like this that the Apostle Paul writes. And he doesn’t simply say, “Stay married.” He says much more than that. He calls us to something much higher. He says, “Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands.” He says, “You older women, teach the younger women how really to love their husbands.” “You husbands, love your wives as your own bodies. Love your wives as Christ loved the church.” Or as Peter wrote, you husbands love your wives considerably, keeping in mind they are the weaker vessel, and affectionately. And he holds up this original perfection as the continuing standard for God’s people and he calls us to it.

Wives, give yourselves to your husbands. You are for him. That’s your purpose. That’s your goal. That’s your calling in life. Live for your husband. You are to be for him his perfect soulmate, his companion, the one in whom he can confide in the most deep ways. He is to find in you his perfect counterpart, his best friend. And so, as Paul says, reverence your husbands. Is that too much? Reverence your husbands, speak well to him, speak well of him, and show him your dedication, your love, your concern, and your companionship.

And you husbands, love your wives affectionately, with concern for them as the weaker vessel. More than that, love your wives as your own bodies. With the same care and concern that you have for yourself, you make sure you have for her. No, more than that, you love your wives as Christ has loved the church.

The night before I was married, my dad sat down with Kim and me, counseled us on some things, and I remember his coming to this passage, and he says, “Fred, husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church. Fred, that’s a heap a lot of loving.” Love as Christ loved the church—sacrificially for her best interests. Looking out most of all for her without thought for your own wellbeing, looking out for her. Love her as Christ has loved the church. See to it that she is happy, that she’s well cared for, that her concerns are met.

Because you see, God has designed not only that your marriage should enjoy that original perfection and, on your part, have the joy and the delight of that kind of companionship—God has designed not only that, but God has designed that your marriage should reflect the great love of Christ for his church. And it ought to be evident in everything about your marriage that here is a picture of Christ and his church, each utterly devoted to the other, each adoring the other and serving the other’s interests.

I like to tell our people that God has designed that your marriage should make it easy for your children to give the gospel to their friends. When your children have friends ask them, “Oh, you’re always going to church. You’re always into this religion thing. What’s that all about?” they ought to be able to say, “You know my mom and dad, right?” “Yeah.” “You notice how my dad loves my mom?” “Yeah.” “You know, and how he cares for her and is always concerned to help her and do all that she needs and concerned for her best?” “Yeah.” “That’s what we believe. That’s what we believe. That’s what Christ has done for us. He’s given himself for us. He sacrificed himself for our sins. And have you noticed how my mom just adoringly gives herself to my dad?” “Yeah.” “That’s what we believe, that’s what we do. We give ourselves to Christ because he’s given himself to us.”

Our marriages are designed not only to bring us the great joy of companionship of its original created perfection; it is designed to reflect the great love of Christ for his church.

Realizing the Beauty of Marriage Through Christ

And at this point, of course, we have, I suppose, every right to ask, how in the world can we do that? After all, I’m still a fallen sinner. I struggle with sin every day. This pride thing—I still have it. How can I enjoy that kind of companionship? How can I have a marriage that will reflect the great love of Christ for his church?

And of course, there is only one answer that can be given. And that is way back when God pronounced the curse. As a result of human sin, God also made a promise. And he promised that he would send this champion, this one who would defeat the tempter, destroy the tempter, and fix this whole mess that he got us into. And as history unfolds, we find that this deliverer was none other than God’s own son, the Lord Jesus Christ. He was one who was well qualified to take our sins and well qualified to go against Satan. And having taken our sins and borne the punishment of our sins on the cross, he has defeated the tempter. And he’s exhausted the curse against us, having risen from the dead. And at great cost to himself, he’s overcome the adversary.

And while we still live today in the remains of sin, we’ve begun—we’ve begun to experience the liberation that his work has brought us. We wait for the consummation. We wait for the consummation with a longing heart, don’t we? That great day when Christ will present His bride, the Church, to the Father without spot, without wrinkle, having been restored to original perfection and beyond. But even until that day, we’ve begun to experience the liberating effects of Christ’s work.

Sin’s grip has been broken. We still struggle. We still struggle every day. We’ve got to struggle with sin, but we feel that its grip has been broken. We’ve been liberated. And not only have we been saved from the consequences of sin in eternal punishment, but we have begun to feel the liberation of God’s work in us through this champion, the Lord Jesus. And we live now not only for Christ and unto Christ, but we’ve learned that we can live by and through Christ, having given us his Spirit to empower us, to bring us and to bring about in us all that he has called us to.

And more than that, at the front door of this wonderful relationship with Christ—this marriage with Christ—at the very front door on our way in, we learned at that point already what it needs and what it takes to make our marriages work. On the way in, the demand was repentance, wasn’t it? On the way in, the demand was surrender to the claims of the Lord Jesus Christ. On the way in, the demand was: you must from here on learn what it is to live for someone else. And on the way in, we learned what it was to bow. We learned what it was to submit. We learned what it was to live for the interests of someone else.

And more than that, this love to which God calls us in our marriage is not some theoretical, abstract thing that we only hear about. This is a love that we ourselves have seen and experienced. This great love of God the Father for the Son—this is a love into which we have been brought. The Holy Spirit of God himself has shed abroad in our hearts the love of God for us. We’ve seen this kind of love. We’ve experienced this kind of sacrificial love. This is not some foreign idea to us who are Christians.

And what we find then is, with all of our failures and with all of our struggles with sin still, this original beauty of companionship in marriage still can be realized in increasing measure because of the liberating work of Christ in canceling the curse and freeing us from sin. And so for all of our remaining pride and corruption and sin, what we want—what we want, isn’t it? What we want in our heart of hearts is not only to enjoy the companionship of marriage in a way that’s most fulfilling for us, not only that; what we want in our heart of hearts is for people on the outside to look at our marriage and be attracted to Jesus. We want them to see in our marriage something that makes Christ attractive. We want them to see in our marriage what God can do, even with sinful people who belong to Christ.

And what we find is that through this great liberating work of Christ, we can realize this in increasing measure. But of course, that is the only way. We become part of that new humanity in the new Adam, and every day of our lives, we learn afresh what it is to put on Christ and live for Him and to live through Him. And through Him then we are privileged to enjoy the pleasures of marriage that were originally intended for us. Amen.